*sigh*

So. Birthday parties.

I hate 'em, I hate the theory behind 'em. I hate that children give us an invitation (usually after I've made my once-weekly pilgrimage to WalMart) handing it directly to my child who then goes ga ga. So I have to make another 40-mile round-trip to the store to get a present, thereby buying admission to a birthday party. And my child is paid for attending, in the form of a gift bag.

Everything about it bothers me.

So I don't do birthday parties for my children. Poor things! But this year I thought, I don't do birthday parties, but I can just do a party. I can let my kid invite a few friends over, bake some cupcakes, they can play a while and eat cupcakes and maybe watch a movie. Fun, without the presents and without the gift bags.

Jackson had the first birthday party after I decided this. He turned nine last Monday. (Happy birthday, J! *kisses*) I told him he'd have his little party "soon".

Which in his mind, meant tonight, the following Friday evening. And this morning as soon as he woke, he said, "Mom, what time are my friends coming?" And I spluttered, because the house was kind of a mess and I hadn't called to invite anyone and hadn't thought of a single game, etc because soon didn't mean today to me. So I said, "Oh, Jackson, let's wait one more week." And his entire little sweet nine-year-old face crumbled.

So I called Blaine, hoping for someone to say, "Oh yeah, next week will work better." But Blaine has almost limitless faith in my abilities, darn it, and he said, "Don't you think you can work something up? I bet you can. I bet it will be great." That was at 3:00 p.m.

So I rallied all the kids. Gave them cleaning assignments. Divide and conquer! We tidied up (house looks fabulous, does anyone want to come visit? quick...) and I called moms. I got one firm yes and a bunch of probablies.

Fast forward to 7:00. Blaine, who had a crucial ingredient for dinner, was supposed to be home by 6:15, but he'd had to stay late. The one kid arrived at 7:00, and we hadn't even eaten dinner yet. All the fixings for burritos were ready, except the tortillas in Blaine's car. But the cupcakes were baked and iced.

So the poor kid comes in and watches Jackson eat a plate of refried beans, olives, and lettuce (I let him have a few chips, too). And that's it. I call around to all the friends again, he's the only one that can actually make it.

So we cleaned, we baked two dozen cupcakes, we planned games, all for one kid.

I feel like such a failure, seriously. It wasn't going to be a birthday party per se, but it was supposed to be a little more special than this, than all of the family sitting down to dinner while Jackson and his friend play downstairs, and no games (because the ones we prepared needed more than two kids). More than one kid coming in his honor, so my boy would feel special, you know?

Sigh.

And the worst part: now I'm wondering if I need to do all this again next week or something, with more kids. And every part of me, worn out from getting everything whipped into shape in three hours, cries NOOOOOO! I've already eaten one cupcake, and I'm eyeballing others. Oh yeah, emotional eating. Take that, diet!

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Now playing: Paramore - Decode from the Twilight Soundtrack Blaine bought for me from the iTunes Store today!! :D
via FoxyTunes