Jobs

I spent all day excavating my desk (everything else I can keep very organized on an ongoing basis! but somehow not my desk) to prepare for the new school year; my mind is on preparations, so it's as good a time as any to talk about what's coming up and what's going on.

First, Christian AND Libby have been 200 miles away at college since August 17. That is a huge adjustment for me. I don't even know what to do with myself, having only four children here at home; there are just six chairs around a table built for 10 and when I'm calling everyone, like for dinner or something, the list is so short. Libby and I have been very close this summer—we spent all her free time together—and I miss her very much; thankfully we talk on the phone a couple of times per week, and email or text quite a bit. (All about Kpop. It is the language we speak right now.) I also miss Christian and his daily piano recitals, but he really seems to be doing so well. Most of his friends didn't return to school, because they went on missions. I'm not sure yet what effect that has on him, but his spirits are good and he seems very excited now that he's chosen to major in music.

Emma has been out on her mission for a year, which only leaves her six more months. Sometimes it is like a punch in the gut to think that I haven't seen my firstborn, my beloved, my sweet girl for a year; other times I think it is miraculous how quickly the time has flown and that another six months will go equally quickly. Anyway, she is doing really well. Her Spanish sounds incredible to me, and in between all her work she is putting in a lot of thought about her future, whether she wants to go back to the same university, whether she loves her major, etc. All very grown up stuff. I'm so proud of her.

Blaine has been in his new job for six months tomorrow. He's killing it. His bosses love him. He thought he was an assistant or at least a junior employee to the guy he shares an office with; turns out he was hired as an equal, but because of Blaine's facility with technology and willingness to progress and learn (and the other guy's lack of both) he is advancing ahead. I have no doubt this job will be his as long as he wants it; once he gets the new computer registration and module system* really fine tuned and can train someone else, I also have no doubt he'll be able to move even somewhere else inside the school if he wishes to.

My supervisor texted me about a month ago and said, "I have six students lined up for you to tutor. Is that okay?" Well, no. I still need a block of time every day to devote to homeschool. But what was okay about it is how much she trusts me and wants to give me students to take care of. So I will tutor three students. I'm a little overwhelmed, honestly. I'll probably have to be at the Academy every day at about noon. I've never left my kids for so long for so many days. (Even last year with two students I didn't tutor at all on Wednesdays.) I know many moms out there juggle kids and a job, and even homeschool; but it is all new to me and I'm a little nervous, mostly about how my sweeties will do at home alone without me. I want to give them the same full-time mom the older kids got. But I really do love tutoring, and what a straight-up blessing it is to me to slide into this job this way, rather than having to take time out and finish the one required on-campus class and then student teaching for my degree. I actually think I like this one-on-one work better than I'd like to have my own classroom. Seriously, this is a dream come true for me.

Orientation and check in is next Monday, Labor Day (as it is every year), our homeschool starts Tuesday, and I begin tutoring on Wednesday. I feel like I need to buckle up and keep my hands inside the ride.

__________________________

* Modules: this year the Academy isn't doing class periods, they're doing modular blocks. Some of the kids classes they can show up any time, there's nothing specific assigned; other classes do have assigned modules. Teachers have big blocks in the middle of the day where they can hold office of classroom hours, and kids who have those modules open can go and get help. It sounds really experimental, I can't wait to see how it turns out. My worry all along has been how this modular system will work with the academic coaches like me, who really do need to keep to a certain schedule.

A letter to my Mom and Dad that they can't read

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Dear Dad and Mom,

I'm sorry that I didn't hug you more, hold you more, and weep with you more when you lost your own parents. I'm sorry that I didn't realize that just because you were a grown up, and my rock and security, that you were vulnerable and sorrowful. I'm sorry that I made you be strong for me as well as for you, because now I understand for the first time that you weren't indifferent or emotionless about it. They were your parents. You loved them. You miss them still. I would like to go back in time and squeeze you just a little harder, and acknowledge the difficulty of that transition for you because I don't remember saying anything at all, let alone anything appropriate to you at the time.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to see you losing your vitality. You've always been a support to me, and it is hard to have that strength ebb. I'm sorry to see Dad so weakened that he can't get out of bed, can't eat solid food. Can't keep the thread or finish a sentence. I'm sorry that conversations with Mom are just a loop of shallow thoughts, repeated over and over again in the span of a minute or two. I'm sorry that you can't take care of yourselves or each other, and so grateful for my siblings that still live close enough that they can help you in the way that you once helped all of us.

I'm sorry that I cried at the end of my mission, because I wanted to stay in Japan more than I wanted to come home. That's not exactly how it was; the emotions were overwhelming, you see. Japan had become my new home, and the missionaries and the Japanese people members of a new, extended family. I was so attached, so in love, that I couldn't wrap my mind around an end to that part of my life; but of course I wanted to come home, to see family, to be with you again. It had been more than a year! Of course I was excited to see you again—and Mom, I never meant to make you feel otherwise.

I'm sorry for the heartache I caused you when I was a teenager. I understand all too well now how you must have hurt when I hurt, cried when I cried, ached when I was mean or disrespectful to you, and rejoiced when I succeeded. I recognize now all that you set aside for me, all that you sacrificed, all the times that you did that I wanted to do that was in no way fun or fulfilling for you. I recognize how many times Mom got out of her bed in the middle of the night to come and rescue a huge carload of my friends from one of our adventures. I recognize how you always kept me safe without being overbearing.

I'm sorry that you won't be able to see my children grow up and marry, or see me become a grandmother. I know you want that experience for me, as I want it for my own children. I'm sorry that Dad won't be at any of their weddings, because I always imagined he'd keep powering on pretty much forever, even if it was only in a slow shuffle.

I miss the places we always visited, even though I know they'd be so different if I went without you. Dad, Lake Powell is truly like a second home to me, even though I haven't been there for 20 years. It was such a part of my life, and you were such a part of Lake Powell—long hikes, swim breaks, the perfect beach to camp on for the night, teaching me how to ski and then towing me everywhere, anytime. Putting up with my whims when all I wanted to do was get tan and not to actually see the sites or do the fun things. I wish so much I could pass that on to my own children, share it with them as you shared it with me. I sorrow that they will never know our special place, and never know you in it.

I am glad for the gentle, constant presence Mom always was at home, and grateful to have been able to see her mothering and her love extend to my married brothers and sisters and their children. She became a grandmother when she was younger than I am now, and she killed it. By the time my own children came along she was older, more worn out; and then she started forgetting. But I remember. I remember the love, and I remember that home didn't feel like home unless Mom was there. I remember my nieces and nephews were as sure of her love as they were of their own parents'.

And now, at the end, I find it very hard to part with you. I've seen you young, hale, and hearty; I've seen you gentling, and aging. I've seen you forgetful and waning. Is there ever a good time for a child to lose their parent, even if the child is grown and the parent has lived a long, full life? It has been difficult watching Mom's mind leave, piece by piece; just as difficult to watch Dad's body decline so quickly that we don't know if we have minutes or weeks. I don't know how much time I have left with my father, nor for how much longer my mother will remember me. But I love you both, for everything you are to me and everything you have made me. I love you both.

Love, Alyson

Hermana Emma Joy Lee

In less than 24 hours this lovely lady, who is still my beloved wee babe, will be entering the MTC.

I adore her. I am so proud of her.

I loved every moment of my mission to Sendai, Japan. I felt joy, I felt adventure, I grew. I wish her all the same.

I cannot wait to see the woman she becomes.

Because when my children achieve things, it feels like I achieve things.

(1) Emma had a fantastic three weeks in London. She had some hiccups and small disappointments in the portion of the trip that she planned herself, but in all it was a terrific success and she saw and did a whole lot and she was ready to come home when it was over which I think is a good sign. And then, when she got home, she opened her mission call, which had been sitting here waiting for her for two weeks.

She's going to the California Santa Rosa mission. Her proselyting language will be Spanish, which she will learn in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Mexico City. She leaves August 20, and I am so excited for her. This is going to be an amazing experience, and is probably just about perfectly suited to make her grow in just the right ways for what she wants to do when she gets back.

The world is such a different place than it was when I served my mission. There are mission pages on Facebook and she is already "meeting" other people called to the same mission, or going to the Mexico MTC at the same time. So cool. And the coolest part about the Santa Rosa mission:

"The California Santa Rosa Mission is the first mission in the world to have gone “global” to the four corners of the earth. Missionaries use mini iPads, internet access and skype to teach friends from far and wide. The internet and facebook are used to contact and teach investigators, strengthen relationships with members and contact less-active members."

I had heard about so-called Facebook missions, where a few missionaries in a mission might have iPads and be on the internet an hour or so a day to connect with people and to teach, but how exciting that it is every person in her mission! This, too, is perfectly suited to her talents and abilities. And it will make it so easy for us to communicate with her on preparation day (aka P-day, the day when missionaries are allowed to write home)!

So even though it is Emma's mission, it's really pretty exciting news for the whole family.

(2) Christian graduated from high school. Graduation at Wasatch Academy is pretty great. The student body is small (graduating class of 103) so they actually take the time for the headmaster to read a tribute to each and every graduate, written by their advisor. The advisor walks across the platform with them, stands next to them, and hands them the diploma. Friday evening, the night before graduation, was the final performing arts showcase. Christian and Libby both performed. (Libby ended up winning a cash prize for choreography. I think Christian should have won for his piano piece *objectivity is not my strong suit*, but another pianist won.) He'll be attending Southern Utah University in Cedar City in the fall, and I can't wait to see what he decides to do once he's there!

(3) Oh hey and I forgot to mention, Jackson was officially accepted at Wasatch Academy for next school year. I'll be down to three homeschool students next year. But I'm so excited for him!

Because you're all cats and I'm trying to keep the curiosity at non-lethal levels:

Exciting things happening at Casa Lee (aka News)

B lost his job nearly two months ago now. (If you want to add us into your prayer list!) Though he has been training at The Green PolkaDot Box for two weeks now, and that has the possibility of turning into full-time job. You'll just have to check back later and see!

Emma has purchased her plane tickets for London, and has found a small group of people she barely knows to stay afterward several days with and see more sights around the UK. I am out of my mind excited for her. She is amazing to do all this on her own!

Christian is awesome, but I literally can't think of anything new to tell you. He's precious. Is that news?

Libby stayed up so late all weekend, actively avoided doing homework, and started out her Monday exhausted and stressed with everything she has piling up this week. She does that sometimes, but I do adore her.

Jackson is like the Pied Piper for the younguns in the neighborhood. We actually had this adorable 7YO girl whose family just moved in a few months ago come to the door and ask if he could play yesterday. When she saw him she threw her arms around him and hugged him. That's Jackson. He's a jewel. WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT HIM NEXT YEAR.

Ethan turned 12 in February and so moved from the kids organization to the Young Mens at church. He is adorable, how much he thinks he's a grown up now. And it's true, all of a sudden he is growth spurting for sure. He has grown out of 85% of the clothes in his drawers. For most of their lives Jackson and Ethan were nearly the same height, despite the 2-year difference in age. But two or so years ago Jackson turned up the gas and all of a sudden, almost overnight, he was a whole head taller. And he just kept growing. Well now Ethan's turned up the gas. He's doing his best to catch up to Jackson.

And Kyrie! I bought her some totally cute clothes for her bday in December, and they fit her great. Now, four months later, they look at least two sizes too small. I wish I could go get her some more. Fingers crossed B's training turns into salaried position soon.

Macklin got to participate in his first derby as a cub scout. Pinewood (car) derbies are always fun, but this was a space derby. He did not win. But he had a great time anyway, and that's what's important.

Whoops did I even comb his hair before going to the derby? Yikes. Good thing he's still adorable.

My big news (I guess?) is that I bought some dry ice and self-froze my warts. I Instagrammed one photo of a resulting blister:

I'm excited for the whole healing process to occur at whatever speed it does, so that when I finally peel away the dried up/withered top skin I can see if baby warts dwell beneath, or if I GOT THEM ALL.

Boring you to tears with inane details of my real life. That's my motto.

A lesson I learned years ago that continues to apply today

I should always represent myself in the best light.

Once upon a time we were refinancing our home. We've done it quite a few times since then too. But the appraiser who came through said a few things that stuck in my craw, about renovations we'd done not being up to snuff. It's a case of pride for me, and pride goeth before the fall. I emailed the loan officer about the appraisal, and (I'm sad to say) I kind of turned up the snark about a few of the appraiser's comments. I thought, this loan officer and I are getting along well, she knows me, she knows my attitude and will think this is funny. But of course, what I had with the loan officer wasn't a friendship; it was a business relationship. She forwarded my email straight on to the appraiser just as it was. He responded back with easily 10x the snark, justifying his position and making it exceedingly clear I had no idea about the arcane terms and valuations appraisers use. Which is so true. He made me look like a fool, using my own words.

And I realized, if I had kindly, as my best self, asked how he had arrived at that valuation, he'd probably have responded as kindly. Because as it turned out, he thought our renovations were very good. Just, you know, the house is really old and doesn't score very high due to age, and when I make period-appropriate renovations they're not going to look like I did them yesterday.

I am often reminded of that moment, of the time my own snark was turned against me to make me look foolish. Only three people even saw the email, but I still felt about an inch tall, and I had done it to myself. It's a good reminder for me to always be as kind (smart/thoughtful/wise) as I can possibly be, at my best—because it is nice when that kindness (thoughtfulness/wisdom) is reflected back.

Blaine teaching a civic lesson to the kids:

Their little minds are blown that we can't just print out money, or stick it in a copier and make copies that are legal.

Blaine: What would happen if everyone could just print money?
Jackson: Everyone would be rich!
Blaine: And what would happen if everyone was rich?
*pause*
Macklin: We'd all be happy!

Hahaha. The conversation continues in the kitchen as I speak, but I had to laugh at that.

Let's News.

Fact: my life is really pretty steady/unchanging/boring. Not a whole lot happens that is outside the daily routine, and I long ago got over blogging the daily routine.

But: I realized that there are a few people who actually read my blog, you know, for news. For the little tidbits I don't release in paragraphs on Facebook. Maybe even for kid updates. And I thought, I should really talk about those things now and then, because those are things that are outside the daily routine.

Emma has decided she's going to London to study abroad. She is going at this full tilt without any need for us to help or even contribute funds. She's working and saving, she's already applied, and I'm super proud of her for chasing her dream. At her university they call study abroad "Maymester", it is just one month long and it is an intense study of _________ (I think in her case it is theater and literature?) for which they get 3 hours credit. Last year she didn't move home for the summer, but she plans to move home this summer; and at the end of the summer, her plan right now is to serve a mission.

Christian spent his own hard-earned money on a plane ticket to Colorado, and he visited his girlfriend and her family for a few days over Christmas break. I was really glad for him to have the experience of traveling alone (first plane ride ever!) and I hear that he was a pleasant guest. He's the president of his school's National Honor Society chapter, which is an elected position, and also makes him a member of the student council/student body officers. And he just got a role in the school musical Once On This Island. He graduates at the end of May, he'll work all summer, and his current plan is that he'll go on a mission after the summer. I posted that he got accepted to a university—he also got a scholarship there, so YAY.

Libby is hanging in there through the busiest and fullest schedule a kid ever experiences in school, amiright? That 11th grade year they just pound them. She has two AP classes, one of which is almost lethal in its homework load. She stays up all night two nights per week, I'm not even kidding. She is mad about dance, still, but this semester in addition to dance company and the insane academic schedule, she's also in Once On This Island and the school play, which I think is Cinderella? Bless her.

Jackson and I really need to get his application for the Academy done. Sigh. I've been putting that off since November. GUILT! Otherwise, he played his first organized sport last fall, flag football, and we learned that he is incredibly speedy. He also picks up quickly on the rules—since he was the only kid on the team that hadn't been playing flag football since first grade or whatever. His team lost I think every single game, but he had a great time doing it.

I was Ethan's scout leader (against my inclinations and interests, but I still rocked it) for about five months when he was 10, and then most of the time he has been 11. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a relationship with the Boy Scouts of America, which means that every boy who attends church regularly is involved in BSA activities. So my involvement has been good for both me and for him—for me, because I have lots of boys and before this I knew nothing about scouting. Now I know, and I can be a better support and guide to my sons. For him, because he's precious and wonderful and so full of innocent goodness, and he's the least socially aware of my kids. It was good for me to see him in action so I can better guide him as he navigates the social world so that hopefully he doesn't become an outcast.

But eight days ago I moved from scouting to something called Activity Days, which is with girls ages 10-12. So now I get to hang out with Kyrie, which is going to be great fun for me. She's in an interesting stage, for sure. She is at home all day every day with just three brothers, who don't want to play dolls or have tea parties. They want to play Legos. And she plays along with them, but she really is a little girl. She has a lot of good friends nearby who, thankfully, like doing little girl things with her. For her birthday in December I bought her a lot of really cute clothes, and she's in love with them. (She and I totally dig watching What Not To Wear together, and looking at What The Stars Wore the day after. We have very similar taste.) So she's just your average adorable 10 year old girl, really.

Macklin: well he doesn't really have anything interesting going on in his life, but he does have the most adorable freckled 8-year-old face you ever saw. He's a brand new cub scout but we haven't done much with it. He has plenty of friends, and he tags along with his older brothers like a pro.


Comet the wonderpup is now 11 months old. His most recent shenanigan is that he cut his foot (the pad and between two "toes") open. It was pretty nasty, I hear (I'm a wimp and cannot look at wounds directly). The vet wanted to sedate him and sew it closed, and I was all NOPE. I'm just not going to pay hundreds of dollahs for surgery on my pet. So instead the vet sent me home with pain pills and antibiotics so it wouldn't get infected as it healed on its own. It took the better part of a week to even start closing up, but my evil plan was working. It was scabbed and scar tissue was forming. Until yesterday, when many of the men in my life decided, after more than a solid week of keeping him calm so his foot would heal, the time was right for him to start running and jumping and being a pup again. Yup, opened the wound right back up, and now I only have 3 more days of pain pills and maybe a few past that of antibiotics. Sigh. And he is going totally stir crazy being calm, with the kids outside biking around in 50º weather. Toes crossed he heals up again, quick. Before the pills run out.

And that's what I don't share on Facebook!

But it's a secret for now, so SHHHH.

First of all, if you're my Facebook friend you've got to keep your gushing here and not let it leak over there. Pinky swear, or you'll have to stop reading right now.

Christian just got his first university acceptance for Fall 2014. It starts!

 (Same place Emma goes, Southern Utah University, as luck would have it. Depending on where else he's accepted and what scholarships he's offered I don't think it's his first choice, but it's still a milestone for him. And for me!)

A peek at the cute children.

I had a fabulous family weekend. I went to my sister's house for a slumber party with my sisters, my nieces, and my daughters. I was hoping to eat, talk, and have my daughters listen to conversations between the women I respect the most, and that's exactly what happened. We talked about parenting mistakes, sex, marriage choices, etc. I figured they needed to hear that stuff from a bigger group than just me. Plus I got to hug and slumber party with the ladies I love the most, seriously. My extended family is the bomb! And we got family pictures taken. It has been too long since we had someone outside of us take a picture with all of us in it, and I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. So for those of you far away, behold my cute children!

Follow up

Writing was really cathartic.

I tend not to stay depressed long in any case, and writing it out really helped. I guess, just knowing that someone was reading (whether ya'll agreed with my position or not) was helpful.

I still very much welcome your comments on why Obama is, IYO, the right guy; but know that I am not nauseated, sad, dejected, or shattered. I'd like a cookie, but I will survive!

It's time to talk. You and me.

I am not merely disappointed with the results of last night’s election. For me it is not a little setback, a matter of just sucking it up and enduring for another four years.

I am devastated. Gutted.

I feel hollow. I feel the very same way I did on 9/11 when I began to understand the scope of all the attacks and schemes—that our nation's security and integrity is threatened, that everything that I know is going to change, and that we may not survive as a nation intact. I feel the awful uncertainty of what comes next.

As Abraham Lincoln said in 1858, a house divided against itself cannot stand. And we are a house divided: half the nation rejoiced last night, with the lightest of hearts and a feeling of hope; another roughly half of the nation mourned, feeling a gut-wrenching, sick fear. Through this entire election there has not been a single moment of unity. Liberal and conservative opinions are so dichotomous that neither side can see a single quality, skill, or plan that redeems the other candidate. There was no feeling of compromise, no effort of coming together to find something/someone that could benefit and prosper every American citizen “Ha, ha, conservative idiots, we beat you”—that was the sentiment I saw all over Twitter last night.

Someone I love and care for deeply posted this on Twitter on Sunday: “Shocked to run across someone I know, that I consider to be an intelligent and reasonable person, and find that they’re in favor of Romney.” That hurt. Liberals truly believe that theirs is the only intelligent, reasonable position? That conservatives believe what we believe out of ignorance, lack of serious thought, and despite all evidence to the contrary?

My non-US-citizen friends and acquaintances posted praise or congratulations to voters on making the right choice. I was *thisclose* to throwing up when Obama won Iowa, that’s how the “right choice” feels to me.

So if you have read through this and haven’t just skimmed or clicked away, I salute you. Thanks for reading. And I wrote this out for a very specific purpose: Please, please tell me what you see in him, why after these four years you wanted him to have four more at the helm of our nation. What has gone right? What positive direction have we gone? What is your hot-button issue, the one that convinces you he’s the right guy for the job? What do you consider his greatest success? (Have there been any failures? Do you think he’ll rectify them in his next term?)

Give me some hope.

Note: comments are moderated. This is my blog, and I can run it any way I want. I will not tolerate a single ad hominem attack, on me or anyone else. Those comments will be deleted instantly. Any thoughtful response, however, will be posted and, I hope, will lead to much discussion. I have spent so much time this election trying to see, trying to understand the liberal position. I am still trying, and I ask your help.

Unbelievably precious

It's time for me to gush about my brilliant children. I LOVE THEM. And I love homeschooling them. I love playing a little part in their learning process; I feel like it is my job to get the ball rolling and then step back and watch it gather speed.

Today at the elder kids' high school they announced the honor roll recipients and the "Students of the term" (which is the kids who got perfect 4.33 GPAs, because this school actually awards an A+ for a class grade percent above 98%). Christian and Libby were the only two students of the term, out of 300 students. Emma was a student of the term and a student of the semester every single term/semester through her freshman and sophomore years. (Once junior year hit she sometimes got, gasp, just plain old A's! Her cumulative GPA is still above 4.0.) Less than five months and she'll be away at university. I'm filled with wonder to have been a little part of it.

Back here at the homestead in homeschool, we do science twice a week. This year it's chemistry, and I'll tell you the truth it's tough to teach chemistry to an all-elementary crowd. I've never done chemistry terribly well. So last year (earth/space science) it was mostly reading and writing and drawing illustrations, and this year it has been mostly silly little experiments. When we complete one, the kids all have to work at their own grade level. They draw a picture of what we did, and answer some questions (and I expect their answers to reflect their abilities—simpler for Kyrie, most complex for Jackson). I do not require these writings of Macklin, I mean the kid is only in kindergarten.

But he does them anyway, every time. And they are precious. I've never seen a kid who yearns so hard to express himself in writing. The questions he answered today are:
1. What did we use?
2. What did we do?
3. What happened?
Here is what he wrote. I did not, and never have, give him any of these words or coach him on what to write. This is just what he does when we complete science for the day.

I shall transcribe. Note: he spelled tin "tit". It was only when he was rereading over my shoulder that he caught this and I'll let him change it, but for some reason I wanted to preserve this version. ;)
Wea did git u bit uv tit foyle and wea got sum wotr
(We did get a bit of tin foil and we got some water)
wea put sum wotr on the tit foyle
(We put some water on the tin foil)
wea got sum awcuhol on tit foyle
(We got some alcohol on tin foil)
the water split.

Things I love: he doesn't think "we" should have a long e, so he added another vowel afterward so it would make the wee sound. And I love his spelling of alcohol! He didn't capitalize and didn't even put spaces between words, but he did end with a period. Ace!

Next, his illustration of the experiment:

First pic: the tin foil. Second pic: The green-tinted water on the tin foil. Third pic: The water split!

I would scan in each and every one, but I know my raptures of them would be mine alone. I'll allow this one to stand in for the others. I just adore being a part of their learning process, I wouldn't want to miss this for anything.

In the middle of an adventure

Last night while Blaine and I were on a date and our eldest kids were home babysitting, Macklin decided to learn to fly. Only, he did it in the dark and without wings so it was a very short flight.

As far as we can piece together, the kids were in beds with the lights off when Mack needed something or was playing and jumped off the bed. Only he didn't land on the floor, he landed on a big fully inflated hoppity hop and bounced off in the dark and hit, again this is guesswork, the dresser. Much wailing and desperate crying ensued.

The kids didn't call, thought he was just bonked and tired. When we got home a couple of hours later, Mack threw up for the first time, then three more times hours apart.

In the morning we took him to the ER in our adorable little community. They did a CT, but aren't equipped to deal with pediatric emergencies; so a few hours later, a couple of hours ago, he was transported by helicopter to Primary Children's Medical Center. We weren't allowed on the helicopter so we exceeded all speed limits, and now we are here with him. (His grandma Lee and aunt Joan were both good enough to hop in their cars and be here in time to meet the helicopter.)

He is sleeping and doesn't even know we've arrived. We don't know the extent of the damage, we're waiting on X-rays and such, but we believe there is a skull fracture and some small bleeding on his brain. He's stable and very well, but I'll keep updating on Facebook as things become clear as the day goes on.

Much thanks to the family and friends who have already rallied around us. Guess seeing The Hunger Games will wait another couple of days!

Favorite Music: DHOOM!

I am totally on a Bollywood kick right now. I am just inhaling the films as quick as I can on Netflix, I find them delightful—even the ones that make me cry/sob through the last half hour (I'm looking at you, Kites and Mujhse Dosti Karoge!) and the most embarrassing part is how many soundtracks I've purchased, because I can't get enough of the music too. Seriously, is there any greater joy than watching someone bust out into song and dance at just the wrong moment? And having everyone surrounding join in? This is how life should be.

Dhoom:2 is worth watching, people, every second of it, and if you do you'll see the following two songs in all their glory. These are the songs I'm totally obsessed with this week—in fact every Lee child with an iPod is listening to these (and the others from the Dhoom soundtrack) on repeat, we just can't get enough.

I genuinely love this song, and the choreography is more traditional. Can't get it out of my head.
Touch Me:

http://youtu.be/TWcSSDtSz0o
(And please, please note the guy in the red tank top with long hair, I can't take my eyes off him when he's on screen!)

And the title song from the movie. Starring maybe the most beautiful leading man ever? Who can really dance. But it's more hip hop than traditional.
Dhoom Again:

http://youtu.be/19yQgZXX0q8

Such delight and wonder! So cheesy, in the best way. Plot isn't very tight though, it's all about the pretty.
(Then, after Dhoom:2 if you want tight plot, beautiful songs, and a story that makes you a little teary, I 125% recommend Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, but you actually have to watch Dhoom:2 first to get some of the jokes in it!)

Favorite Music Friday: White Rabbits

White Rabbits is a band that I discovered sort of accidentally when iTunes gave away their fabulous Percussion Gun video for free. It grabbed me around the throat and wouldn't let me listen to anything else. (I'm an obsessive listener like that, I can listen to the same song, no lie, 40 times in a row when I'm obsessed with it. I can listen to only one song for 3 or 4 days or longer before I move on to something else.) And once the urge eased up just a tiny wee bit, I managed to go back to the iTunes store and listen to other White Rabbits, and I loved it all and downloaded it. That, for the record, is pretty rare; lots of people put out one good song, even one amazing song. But to investigate and find I like everything? I just think they have tons and tons of talent. When they came through SLC in 2010 my sister and I went to their concert and we sat in the front row. They're coming back in March, we just heard, and we're going to be there again. I sort of imagine this band is going to be huge someday, and I'm going to be able to say, "I've been with them since the beginning, I've seen them every time they've come to town." I'll be able to say I knew them when they played at little 125 person venues for $10/ticket.

The more I listened to all their music, the more this song, They Done Wrong We Done Wrong, began to eclipse Percussion Gun (which is still so good it's in my list of all-time favorite songs). I love it. I think TDWWDW is a masterpiece of music making, and I've never gotten tired of it no matter how many times I hear it. :)

Introducing: White Rabbits! Here are three ways to listen to this song. (1) Embed:


(2) Link to youtube: http://youtu.be/Xp3MsiIZ1ww

(3) Link to my profile on blip.fm: http://blip.fm/profile/alysonell/blip/76618074/White+Rabbits%E2%80%93They+Done+Wrong+|+We+Done+Wrong

The more things stay the same, the more they change

Spent the day yesterday in the three-hours distant hamlet of Cedar City with my Emma, checking out a university. Did the housing tour, the university tour, and the financial aid/scholarship session. Made Christian drive us there and back, to get 6.5 hours driving experience under his belt. Kid is 16+, he needs to get his license. We had a great time all around—laughed and talked through the drive, walked and talked through the tour.

Last night as I lay my weary head down, I wondered: how am I ever going to sleep next year? How will I ever rest again, not knowing whether Emma is home or not, fed or not, sleeping or not? How will I let her go?

And then I remembered, she's been away for a week at a time several times—mostly for church camps of various sorts during the summer. And I always slept fine. I'll worry, I'll pray, I'll text and FB a lot, but I'm sure I'll get through.

This is Emma's last Christmas living at home with us, and we realized we've not really established our own traditions, not firmly. B's mom has been so very strong about hers, about wanting us all there every Christmas Eve for dinner and a program, that we've been a little haphazard about our own, sometimes doing one thing and sometimes another. I'm a little sick about it, actually. This year we're going to do our own thing, because next year we want Emma to come home to us, not to Grandma. Fingers crossed it's never too late to cement a tradition of our own.

Mind blowing.

I remember the day Emma was born, the day I came home from the hospital with just one tiny little baby to take care of and the whole future of mothering in front of me.

Emma has now officially applied to two universities. O_0 More applications to come, no doubt. Seriously, where has the time gone?

Forgive us this day our daily rant:

(1) The hardest part of homeschool. It is not teaching math or science to the older grades. It certainly isn't teaching a kindergartner to read, which is a delight start to finish. What is the hardest part of homeschool? Keeping the house tidy. Imagine summer vacation when kids are in and out all day, and leaving stuff all over. But summer is easier (at least here in arid UT) because when they come in they're dry as a bone. In the autumn they track in dry leaves and leaf skeletons. In the winter they track in snow on their wet boots. In the spring they track in mud. And they do it all day long. And they leave out toys, and they leave out dishes, and if ever I even need to do something like bake a birthday cake (happy birthday, Macklin!) then school has to come to a grinding halt and they make even more messes.

I love them, and I love homeschool. But this is the hard part. Not curriculum or organization or anything else. It's keeping the house liveable.

(2) Many years ago when Emma and Christian were wee and my bigger nephews and nieces (who are less than 10 years younger than me) were in their early teens and experimenting with vegetarianism or veganism, I remember all being gathered at some family meal event. It might have even been Thanksgiving, I don't know. And there's this lovely serving platter of food (who knows what it was? soup, stew, casserole, it doesn't even matter) and I said, "Can't you just pick out the meat? Isn't it vegan then?"

That has come back to bite me in the butt so many times in the last 13 years. So allow me to post this as a Public Service Announcement: Using meaty broth in a dish, or cooking with meat, taints everything in the entire dish. We can't just pick out the meat and eat the rest. Having had meat in the mix makes It—whatever It is—inedible to someone who doesn't eat meat.

I can't believe I was so naïve once that I didn't know that. But I still encounter people on a monthly basis who are equally naïve and think the same thing.

A tale of two soups

Once upon a time, we weren't vegetarian. And this recipe was easy and delicious, one of my favorites to make. Tonight (being clueless about what to make for dinner) I decided to just go for it, and try to make up my own au gratin- and ham-free version, fingers crossed it tastes good. Not that I'll remember, I haven't made any version of this recipe for 13.5 years. But for the rest of you, I give you a gift!

Cheese and Vegetable Chowder
4 cups water
3 cups shredded cabbage
1 cup finely chopped ham, bacon, Canadian bacon, whatever smoke flavored meat you want
2 large carrots, sliced thin
1 5.25- to 5.5-oz. pkg dry au gratin potato mix
1 cup milk
1 tsp cornstarch
1 cup frozen cut green beans (or, I used drained canned green beans all the time)

In 4-qt pan combine water, cabbage, smoked meat, carrots, and the dry potatoes with sauce mix. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, for 15 minutes. Combine milk plus cornstarch, add to soup along with frozen beans. Simmer, covered, for 10-15 minutes more or until beans are tender. Makes 4-6 main dish servings.

And just FYI, my vegan version turned out CREAMY DELICIOUS SCRUMPTIOUS as well. I used fresh potatoes sliced thin instead of a mix, and flavored the broth (5 c water 3 c soymilk, because I doubled the recipe) with vegan bouillon, a heaping Tbsp of nutritional yeast, and Goya Ham Flavored Concentrate (which, conveniently for me, does not contain ham of any kind). So tonight, I win and you win! :D